Healthy Grocery Snacks That Don’t Suck

Whenever we’re in a rush, we tend to make haste decisions with food that don’t align with our highest selves. The ‘healthy’ whole wheat crackers, the salty potato chips, or perhaps the sugary protein bar. Let’s be honest... these snacks suck. Instead opt for these yummy, energizing & filling snacks. They may be a wee bit pricier, but what's the real cost on your body, mind & spirit?

Organic Halawi Dates

There are more than 200 varieties of dates with different shapes and flavors, however, out of all of them, only one stands on the top of the totem pole. Yes, you guessed it-- halawi dates. No, not medjool, not deglet noor, but halawi. All of them are almost equal in nutrition when it comes to their fiber and antioxidant potential, but I think halawi have the best flavor, consistency, pricetag, and nutritional capacity. They taste like caramel and a Krispy Kreme donut had a baby. Not only are they extremely filling from their superb fiber content, but they contain a ton of phenolics and anti-cancer compounds. Fasting glucose and triglyceride levels were not increased after consumption of either date variety in a plethora of studies – in fact, serum triacylglycerol levels significantly decreased after consumption of both types of date. Okay, you hear me now? Stop being single and go on a date already. (I usually get my Halawi dates from Natural Grocers).

Bulletproof Collagen Protein Bars

This shiz is crack, let me tell ya. When I went WWOOFing in Ukiah, California for a month this summer, these guys saved my life. I went through 2 a day with no guilt whatsoever. The cleanest ingredients around town. This collagen bar by Bulletproof mainly consists of cashews, grass-fed collagen and MCT oil. 12g of protein in each bar, 2g of sugar - NO added sugar*, collagen protein sourced from grass-fed cows, gluten-free, dairy-free, and non-GMO. Does it get better than this? No. (Definitely get the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, that one smacks).

Grass-Fed Beef Sticks & Jerky

Conventional beef from sad, depressed, boxed-up cows is loaded in heart-wrecking omega-6s, and is void from the healthy compounds like vitamin A. Cows are designed to eat grass, not corn, soy and other grains that lead to antibiotic pumps, an influx of methane gas release in the atmosphere and a destructive immune system for you, the cow, and the planet. Instead of Jack Links packed with nitrates, nitrites and sodium, get some grass-fed beef jerky from companies like Chomps Chomplings. This snack is loaded in protein, omega-3s and will keep you full until your next big meal. Moo, don’t moan.

GoMacro MacroBars

Do you crave Everlasting Joy? Well that's exactly the name of my favorite flavor of GoMacro macrobars: Coconut + almond butter + chocolate chips -- all organic, real, natural ingredients. If you take a gander at the nutritional label, it contains a good amount of fiber, protein and is chock-full of filling nutritious compounds like sprouted brown rice and pea protein, unsweetened coconut, and nut butter. You can find these guys in almost any grocery store or health foods store on the block. When you need an energy-dense snack, GoMacro!

Halo Top Ice Cream

Ahhhhgggg, Halo Top ice cream stacked with a hit or two of some quality organic ganja is my guilty pleasure for a Friday night in. My roommate Gabriel and I go haywire for this stuff. Why? Because you won’t actually have any guilt after eating an entire pint! Now featuring over 24 flavors from keto to dairy-free, I guarantee there is one you won’t pass up on. Yes, it is roughly $4 a pint, but that price beats any sugary, brain-fog-inducing coma from generic conventional dairy ice cream. Plus they are typically under 400 calories an entire pint! My favorite by far is the dairy-free (coconut milk) Oatmeal Cookie. I can see your halo halo halo…

Real Granola: Pure Elizabeth or Living Intentions Activated Superfood Cereal

Nature Valley is far from real granola. Here are the first five GMO ingredients in their crunchy-crap bars: whole grain oats (basically sugar), sugar, canola oil (omega-6 industrial oil), yellow corn flour (basically sugar), honey (sugar). Now compare this to Pure Elizabeth: Organic Gluten-Free Oats, Organic Coconut Sugar, Organic Raw Virgin Coconut Oil, Organic Sunflower Seeds, Organic Puffed Amaranth, Organic Quinoa Flakes, Organic Chia Seeds, Organic Cinnamon, Salt. Here is Living Intentions cereal/granola: Organic Buckwheat Sprouts, Organic Gluten Free Oats, Organic Coconut Palm Sugar, Organic Raisins, Organic Sunflower Sprouts, Organic Coconut… See the difference? One gives you the crunch while also not making you an inflammatory bucket! Opt for these over the cheap shiz that’ll only make you feel like doo-doo.

Green & Black’s or Endangered Species Organic Dark Chocolate

Who doesn't love dark chocolate? Sociopaths.

Just kidding, okay. But seriously, dark chocolate (cacao) is loaded with theobromine, an alkaloid shown to boost cognition (similar to caffeine), perfect for when the afternoon hunger starts kicking in. Dark chocolate also kicks up endorphins, libido, energy, longevity, and the best of all is that it tastes amazing! Grab yourself one of these chocolate bars to brighten your snack time (put down the Hershey’s). My favorite of all is the Endangered Species brand because over the past 4 years, they have given $2.1 million to support conservation efforts for endangered species and habitats. Save the elephants!

Stonyfield 100% Organic Whole Milk Grass-Fed Yogurt

Sorry Danimals, but your yogurt sucks. Now if you want some real yogurt, get grass-fed. As Stonyfield states on their website, “It’s not that complicated. Cows have been eating grass, well, since forever. Milk from cows who graze naturally on lush grass gives yogurt a rich and unique flavor. And like all Stonyfield products, 100% Grassfed is organic, non-GMO and made without the use of artificial hormones.” FACTS. Dairy is not bad. Conventional grain-fed, sad mooing dairy is. Eat real grass-fed yogurt without added sugars and your snacktime tummy will thank you later. If you’re feeling nifty, sprinkle (or pour) some of the Pure Elizabeth granola or Living Intentions cereal for a flavorful crunch.

Seaweed Snacks

Now I gotta say ahead of time, this is like eating green air. There is no true heartiness to this snack, but hey, it’s still a healthy, novel snack. Seaweed is phenomenal for your health and can keep you full until your next meal. It's high in protein and iodine which is great for your thyroid metabolism. It also tastes super good with that hint of sea salt. Just avoid any with added shit oils like canola, sunflower, or soybean. Opt for oil-free or get the ones in olive or coconut. As Karen, Plankton’s wife said in Spongebob, “50% sea, 50% weed.”

Epic Pork Rinds

Pork skins are thought to be a gas-station exclusive snack. However, thankfully, there are brands producing pork rinds from healthy, happy, pastured pigs (not the ones cooped up in small cages eating soy and corn-- sound familiar?). Pork rinds should never be fried in veggie oil since they have their own fat which is also very heat stable and won’t oxidize into rancid shit (kind of like when you cook bacon you don't add oil/fat). That is why I would buy Epic brand or any other brand that specifies pasture-raised and the ingredients label is only pork fat and salt. There is a ton of protein in these along with a ton of flavor, especially when you sprinkle on nutritional yeast and some spices and herbs!

Lesser Evil Organic Popcorn

I LOVE this brand. They use organic ingredients without harmful oils, sweeteners, or cheap salts. They make a good point, “Shouldn't a handful of popcorn only have a handful of ingredients? Ours has three: organic popcorn, extra-virgin coconut oil, and Himalayan pink salt. We make it with minimal processing for maximum snackability.” Corn isn’t necessarily healthy or unhealthy, I believe it is a solid 7/10 for snacking. But when it is organic and non-gmo and using pink salt, it is that much better. It is low in calories, fat and loadeddd with gut-healing fiber. Pop it up!

*EXTRAS-- All Other Fruits & Vegetables Not Mentioned!

If none of these foods stand in the spotlight for you, then make the intuitive decision-- grab any sort of colorful fruit or veggie you love and add nut butter or maybe some hummus! Carrots, broccoli, apples, oranges, kiwi… you name it, it most likely won't wreak havoc on your gut, skin, metabolism and mood like oily, processed potato chips or cheap granola. Go with your gut!