Surface of the Skin or Deeper Within: The 4 Ways We Cope with Emotional Wounds

Have you ever had that one cut, scrape, blister, rash, or bruise that took FOREVER to heal? Well, the same can apply to our emotions when we don’t give them the attention, TLC & love they need to repair. A band-aid is a great temporary fix to prevent any unwanted toxins from infecting the wound, but covering it up long-term without proper cleansing may lead to more harm than good. Every human has unique, profound emotional wounds; the question is, how are you taking care of them?

A great deal of emotional turbulence and turmoil pumps through my veins; suppressions throughout my childhood and life. Family fights (physical and emotional), arguments, nasty mistakes and choices, arrogant jokes and displayments of myself in high school, rude awakenings, and dirty secrets kept from others that eventually came to the surface. I am notorious for suppressing these things, never talking about them to others or even bringing the awareness from my subconscious to my conscious.

The feelings and emotions come in waves.

But once you develop a hyper-awareness, a sense of acknowledgement that these emotional wounds no longer need to be suppressed or delved into negatively, you can grasp security and freedom. You no longer allow these deep traumas to control the way you hike through your wonderful, blessed, one-of-a-kind life.

Now is the time to begin the inner work.

You can meditate, share these wounds with a therapist, or most importantly, if someone in your life created this emotional wound, you can share to them how you truly feel with compassion, empathy and fearlessness, or forgive them internally with internal release.

It’s certainly not going to be easy. It’s not going to be fun. It’s not going to be something you look forward to dissecting and pulling apart. BUT once you do give it the attention it deserves, you’ll take one GIANT LEAP closer to enlightenment, freedom and real, tangible success. You'll begin to wake free from those thought-provoking, spirit-diminishing demons that AREN’T yours to keep. They don’t belong to you.

These demons are only a piece of the PAST, which technically is no longer in existence, or for that matter, real.

The present is yours; that is the real gift (that is why it is called PRESENT). Own these emotional wounds, because if you don’t, they will eat you alive.

As you read the 4 Ways We Cope with Emotional Wounds, ponder which analogy feels the most resonating with your unique personality type:

1) An emotional experience (i.e. trauma) cuts your thumb. You hold your thumb out exposing it to everyone around you, crying, pouring the blood onto everybody without taking care of the wound. The emotional wound resists healing.

2) An emotional experience (i.e. trauma) cuts your thumb. You tuck and hide the bleeding thumb behind your back. You don’t see it, resisting to face the deep, internal sorrow. No one sees it. It continues to bleed without being taken care of. The emotional wound resists healing.

3) An emotional experience (i.e. trauma) cuts your thumb. You stare at it deep in your emotions while blood continues to pour out of it. No one sees the wound but you. You don’t take care of it. The emotional wound resists healing.

4) An emotional experience (i.e. trauma) cuts your thumb. You cry for some time, but eventually you decide to pull out the first aid kit (i.e. coming inward) to clean and bandage it up. The emotional wound heals. A scar exists, but it likely will never bleed again. The scar is there to remind you of your past, so you begin to appreciate the now.

Here is the key takeaway: You have to begin telling a different story if you want different results.

Begin by saying, “I want to feel good. I want to feel productive and expansive. My thoughts are the basis for the attraction of all things that I consider to be good, which includes freedom from the past, which includes health and wonderful people around me who are stimulating and uplifting and exciting.”

Begin telling the story of your real desire in order to change your future landscape and divert from the past. Add details and positive aspects that you can embellish.

Say things like, “Only good things come to me. I don’t have all the answers of the past, I don’t know all the steps, I can’t identify all the doors that will open for me, BUT I know that I move through space and time, and the path of the past is truly understood by my inner being. I know I will be able to figure out who I am, what I embody, my purpose, and all the things that will make me who I am as I go along on this journey. It is all necessary.”

It’s crazy! Every time you tell yourself a better feeling story, versus what these past emotional traumas want to make you think, you will feel better and everything in your life will begin to improve.

Your thoughts program your reality, and if you’re fixated on the past, by holding grudges or holding negative emotions, then those negative emotions will keep on floating in!

It’s the law of attraction.

I myself have noticed this occur in my life so many times.

There were moments where I continually thought, “what the hell, why me?” and I sat in worry, grief and pitty, day after day for weeks. This led to a chain reaction shit-storm from the universe, only because I kept that debbie-downer attitude and held onto emotional trauma. I had an argument with my loved ones, I was stressed at work, I wasn’t getting good grades in school, and "minor" burdens, that I would usually brush off if I was feeling more in-harmony with myself, kept stacking on me.

I started to dwell into my unchangeable past. Darker emotional cuts and scrapes began bleeding again. I wasn’t appreciating all I’ve become. I wasn't present.

Right in this very moment as I write this on Google docs, I sit at my dark green desk with a piping hot cup of joe at my side, sunlight piercing through my window, healthy plants on the banister in front of me, and trees whispering in the distance, satisfied and grateful for the hells in my past.

Weird, I know. I acknowledge that despite the times where my tone was wrong in my voice, I said the wrong words to my girlfriend or my family or friends, my isolating selfishness, and all the other things I regret that were coming externally or internally, I wouldn’t be at where I’m at today if it wasn’t for them.

This is where growth happens.

Cope with the past, gently place a badass unicorn bandage on it, give it A BIG KISS, and let it do its thing without force: heal.

If you ever need any support, or you just want to chit-chat about ways to cope with stress, build resilience, burn fat or get back into your body, I am here for you!

Please reach out by clicking here.

~ cvc